Latest Best Funny English Text messages & SMS for a Cute SMILE


You can find huge collection of funny jokes for sharing with your friends and family. You can even share these to your best buddies by texting them. You can see a cute smile on their faces as you play few jokes and make your boring time a real fun. Reading all these I assure you that you will be on a magic land where you are laughing all the time. Caution: Do not miss any one below, you may lose tons of happiness and laugher on your side. The collection is so huge and varied with SMS jokes include Funny SMS jokes, mobile sms jokes, short sms jokes, text jokes, sms text jokes, sardar jokes Here we are with loads of funny and comedy sms in English. You can even find few jokes in Hindi. Hope you’ll all love these. 🙂


One Man Coming In Bar.


Man: “One Vodka Price”


Bar Man: “Rs. 5/- Sir”


Man: “What Only Rs. 5/-? Can I Also Have One Plate Kebabs Please?”


Bar Man: “Rs. 7/- Sir”


Man: “Wow That’s Really Cheap, Can I Meet The Owner?”


Bar Man: “No Sir, He’s Busy With My Girlfriend”


Man: “What’s He Doing With Your Girlfriend?”


Bar Man: “The Same Thing That I’m Doing To His Business Here“


Best day to propose a girl


Hey U Know

Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1

U Know Why??

If she accept its your luck

otherwise just tell April Foooooll.


 Latest Best Funny English Text messages & SMS for a Cute SMILE 🙂  for whatsapp:)


Three Fastest Means Of Communication:


1. Tele-Phone


2. Tele-Vision


3. Tell A Woman


Bonus: Need Still Faster – Tell Her Not To Tell Anyone.




If every child starts swapping their mummy papa mobile phones. Soon we will become the country with the highest divorce rate!


Laugh, until U have teeth..

U can Smile Later!!!funny english sms!



U are a BITCH








r u smiling now?







Awesome Saying:

In Life,Don’t Be A Rat In A Rat Race Coz Even If You Win You’ll Still Be A Rat,

Instead Be With Lions, Even If You Lose You’ll Still Be A Lion!


 Latest Best Funny English Text messages & SMS for a Cute SMILE 🙂 🙂 for Facebook:)


Teacher : Correct the sentence,

“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”


Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”

Teacher : How?


Student : Ladies first.




What’s the similarity between Income Tax and a Caller Tune?



In both the cases, one pays the money and others enjoy.


The reason why most of the men Wants to kiss on LIPS… Funny ANSWER


The reason why most of the men prefer to KISS women’s lips..



Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman’s mouth for at least some seconds:)




Y r u so opposite to me?

When i say tea,u say coffee!

I say white,u say black!

I went to dental hospital,u went to mental hospital!

I came back and u still there!



Sardar Love With Nurse


One Sardar love with a nurse.

HE writes love letter.

He writes,”I Love you Sister”.


I bought a new printer because

it was cheaper than ink refills.

Now I’m wondering how long before

new cars are cheaper than fuel.


What Is The Best Punishment For A Girl?


Give Her New Clothes, Matching Jewellry And Nice Cosmetics


And Then Lock Her In A Room Without A Mirror.


What Is The Best Punishment For A Boy?


Give Him A Mobile With A Lot Of Girl’s Phone Numbers,


And Unlimited Credit & Put Him In A Place Where There’s No Network.




Boys are stronger than Girls??


Ohh Please !!

No Ways!!!

Can they carry 8kg of shopping bag?

Can they go a week eating only salad?

Can they face a heart break?


If You Look At The Sky Tonight

And Notice That The Brightest Star Is Missing,

I Swear I Have No Clue

How The Hell I Fell From Sky But I’m OK

Santa: My wife is a very careful driver.

Banta: How do you know that?

Santa: She always slows down when passing a red light!


 Latest Best Funny English collection for a Cute SMILE for kids:) 🙂

Latest Best Funny English Text messages & SMS for a Cute SMILE :) :) for kidoos

Can i Have a pictures of yours?















actually, The thing is that i have started a new hobby.

collecting photography of “natural disaster” ;->



tips 4 boys-

if you marry one girl,she will fight with you.

if you marry two girls,they will fight for u….

think different

Dharam Bhai Means Not “Real Brother”


Dharam Pita Means Not “Real Father”


Dharam Behen Means Not “Real Sister”


Then Why Dharam Patni Means “Real Wife?”


Pure Cheating 🙁


Two prisoners were waiting to be executed. “Any last requests?” asked the jailer.

“Yes”, replied one of the prisoners. “I love music; so before I die, could you play me something by Himesh Resham”

And the second prisoner said, “Please kill me first.”


Only “Itch Guard” can claim that it started it’s business from ‘scratch’.


When I was in darknes,you gave me light.

You gave me strength to make life bright.

Thank you so much. ..


 Trendy Funny Collection:


V Need A Way Of Telling

People They Have Bad

Breath Without Hurting

Their Feelings


“Well I M Bored

Let’s Go Brush 0ur Teeth …



Let me kiss ur lips,

let me feel ur teeth,

let me feel ur tongue.


This is ur friend


reminding you to brush ur teeth,

Twice a day Everyday 🙂



Written On A Public Toilet Door.


“The Person Coming In Next Is Not Interested In Knowing What You Had For Lunch, Dinner, Breakfast Etc,


So, Please Flush Properly.”

50 Awesome Birthday Wishes in Hindi for Friends to share Messages & SMS


There is nothing more expensive than a single drop of a female/girl tear!

When a tear falls, it first mixes with ‘MAC’ eyeliner and ‘Maybelline’ mascara;

Then it comes down to the cheek, it mixes with “La Femme” blusher;

And in case it touches the lips, it gets mixed with ‘Lancome’ lipstick;

This means that a single drop is worth at least Rs 15000!



PAPPU : Daddy, have you

ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do

you ask that?

PAPPU: Well, where did

you get THIS mummy then?


A Man And His Family Doctor Accidentally Meets In The Market.


Doctor: “How Is Your Headache Now?”


Patient: “Ohh, She Is Out Of Town.”


Researchers Now Believe That Raavan Cannot Be Evil,


One Who Takes Away Your Wife Can Only Be An Angel.

 Top 5 Best Funny Jokes


Teacher: Do you know as to why did the World Wildlife Fund choose the giant panda as their symbol?

Pappu: Because they didn’t have a colour printer!

Girlfriend And Boyfriend Doing Love Chat In Park.


Girlfriend: “How Much Do You Love Me?”


Boyfriend: “I’d Take Bullet For You.”


Girlfriend: “Awwwww! Seriously?”


Boyfriend: “Yeah, Enfield Bullet In Dowry.”



TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the

map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now,

class, who discoyered America?


30 Best Funny  Facebook Status Updates That Will Get a Lot Of Likes and Comments


 Funny Collection for adults:


A Mature Lady Gets Pulled Over For Speeding


Lady: “Is There A Problem, Officer?”


Traffic Cop: “Yes Mam, I’m Afraid You Were Speeding.”


Lady: “Oh, I See.”


Cop: “Can I See Your License Please?”


Lady: “Well, I Would Give It To You But I Don’t Have One.”


Cop: “Don’t Have One?”


Lady: “No. I Lost It 4 Years Ago For Drunk Driving.”


Cop: “I See, Can I See Your Vehicle Registration Papers Please.”


Lady: “I Can’t Do That.”


Cop: “Why Not?”


Lady: “I Stole This Car.”


Cop: “Stole It?”


Lady: “Yes, And I Killed And Hacked Up The Owner.”


Cop: “You What!?”


Lady: “His Body Parts Are In Plastic Bags In The Trunk If You Want To See”


The Cop Looks At The Woman And Slowly Backs Away To His Car While Calling For Back Up.


Within Minutes 5 Police Cars Circle The Car.


A Senior Officer Slowly Approaches The Car, Clasping His Half Drawn Gun.


Officer: “Mam, Could You Step Out Of Your Vehicle Please!”


The Woman Steps Out Of Her Vehicle.


Lady: “Is There A Problem Sir?”


Officer: “My Colleague Here Tells Me That You Have Stolen This Car And Murdered The Owner.”


Lady: “Murdered The Owner? Are You Serious?!”


Officer: “Yes, Could You Please Open The Trunk Of Your Car, Please.”


The Woman Opens The Trunk, Revealing Nothing But An Empty Trunk.


Officer: “Is This Your Car, Mam?”


Lady: “Yes, Here Are The Registration Papers.”


The Cop Is Quite Stunned.


Officer: “My Colleague Claims That You Do Not Have A Driving License.”


The Woman Digs Into Her Handbag And Pulls Out A Clutch Purse And Hands It To The Officer.


The Officer Examines The License Quizzically.


Officer: “Thank You Mam, But I Am Puzzled, As I Was Told By My Officer Here That You Didn’t Have A License, That You Stole This Car, And That You Murdered And Hacked Up The Owner!”


Lady: “Bet The Lying Bastard Also Told You I Was Speeding, Too.”


So, Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies

Latest Best Funny English Text messages & SMS for a Cute SMILE


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