Funny Jokes for Whatsapp Group Admin

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Funny Jokes for Whatsapp Group Admin 🙂 🙂  🙂 

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?”
Teacher:” Of course not.”
Student: “Good, because I haven’t done my homework.”
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

🙂

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”
Submitted by BH LEE
My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him “What was the name of his other leg?”
(Try this one with your students the next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)

🙂

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’
I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.
Three mice were being chased by a cat.

Funny Jokes for Whatsapp

 

The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, “Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!” The surprised cat ran away scared.

Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, “You see, it pays to be bilingual!”

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”
Submitted by Sean McLoughlin
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
Submitted by: Irene Pellegrini
Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

🙂

Funny Jokes for Whatsapp Group Admin

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there’s a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman “What did you do that for?”
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.
Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?”
Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?
🙂

Funny Jokes for Whatsapp Group Chat

Headmaster: I’ve had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
Submitted by Maria del Pilar Villlegas Martinez
Teacher: “Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”
Nick: “What do you think it is, Sir?”
Teacher: “I don’t think, I KNOW!”
Nick: “I don’t think I know either, Sir!”
Submitted by Bernadette Kelly
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
Submitted by Cláudia Almeida
A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I’m the one who must dig his grave.
Submitted by Joe, from Indiana
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”

“Wrong number,” replied the girl.
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
“Ouch,” he says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog.”

Very Funny Jokes for Whatsapp Freinds

Q: What are two things people never eat before breakfast?
A: Lunch and supper.

Q: What do tigers have that no other animals have?
A: Baby tigers.

Q: Why is the number six afraid?
A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine)

Q: How many legs does an ant have?
A: Two, the same as an uncle.
(HINT: ant = aunt)
PUPIL: “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?”
TEACHER:” Of course not.”
PUPIL: “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”
Submitted by Miguel de Paco Moltó
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!
Submitted by Mahmoud Zeidan
When I want to teach the coulors, I just ask my students to pretend the phone is ringing and they will answer:
Phone rings: “Green, green!”
They answer: “Yellow?”
They ask: “White?”
They hang up: “Pink!”

While teaching this use your hands pretending you are holding the phone.
Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?

Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)?

If you don’t understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words “blind,” “deaf,” “saw,” “heard” and “herd.”

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Submitted by: Elise Owen, Dalian China
Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let’s start from your bank account.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
“Ouch,” he says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog.”

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