47 Short Funny motivational Quotes & Sayings

“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.”
Elbert Hubbard

Short Funny motivational Quotes & Sayings
You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
Robin Williams

Walking isn’t a lost art–one must, by some means, get to the garage.
David Russell
You can only really learn from failure… To win you need to fail, and fail hard.
Aisha Tyler
“He has a heart of gold – only harder.”
Adolphe Menjou
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Margaret Mead

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain


Short Funny motivational Sayings

“You’ll be richer in the end than a prince, if you’re a friend.
Edgar A. Guest
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

“Make allowances for your friends’ imperfections as readily as you do for your own.”
H. Jackson Brown
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
Og Mandino

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

47 Short Funny motivational Quotes & Sayings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
An idea isn’t responsible for the people who believe in it.
Don Marquis

You gotta keep the funny intact.
Seth MacFarlane
Stealing, you’ll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.
Mike Judge

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

“Life is short. Eat dessert first.”
You just be honest about who you are, and if you don’t end up with any friends, then good for you.
Chelsea Handler

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the water slide overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
Tiny Fey
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
– Napoleon Bonaparte

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.
Rodney Dangerfield.
You know you’re getting old; there are certain signs. I walked past a cemetery, and two guys ran after me with shovels.
Sophia Loren.

Short Funny motivational Quotes

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
Marilyn Monroe.
If I close my eyes and think of Hollywood, all I see is one big varicose vein.
Frank Zappa
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
Paul David Hewson (Bono).
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.
Winston Churchill

Facts, like people, want to be free — and when they’re free, liberty is usually around the corner.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca.
It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
Bill Cosby

“There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways, it can change someone’s life forever.
Margaret Cho

Originally posted 2015-09-17 15:26:49.

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“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open.”..

This is my favourite one from this collection… What is your’s??????? 😛


Very nice Quotes. I like this site and the post


“Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough.” – Abraham Lincoln