Hello buddies here are “50 Whatsapp & Facebook Unique One Liner Status Messages” to share on your profile status of whatsapp or facebook time line to show whats happening in your life crazily. You can share these crazily with little more twists in the sentences and surprise your friends. We have a collection of 50 status messages. So you can use these for 50 long days on your profiles and timelines. So keep this article book marked and use them day by day to get good followers for your status. 

Do you know these? Around 85% of whatsapp users have a habit of reading status of their friends every now and then when ever they open the messenger. I know you are one of then and to be honest I do the same.

50 Whatsapp & Facebook Unique One Liner Status Messages

1. Hold your temper always but don’t make friendship with him
2. They say that patience is a virtue, well I have been patient all my life and look where it’s got me.
3. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I do…
4. Kill dark when light appears
5. Love your neighbours but not their puppies
6. Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
7. If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger …
8. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
9. They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
10. Marriage is the transference of misery from the woman to the man.
11. Does time fly when you’re having sex or was it really just one minute?
12. Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.
13. If you don’t go out on the limb… how are you going to get the good apple?
14. Studies have proven that out of people enjoy gang rape.
15. Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.
16. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
17. If a leper gives you the finger, do you have to give it back?
18. Integrity is Everything. I’ll sell you mine for fifty bucks.
19. We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly minutes per hour    Click here to see Whatsapp Status in Hindi for you
20. Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.
21. He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.
22. I have nothing to declare except my genius.
23. Love never fails

24. Whatsapp & Facebook Unique One Liner Status Messages

25. It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled ‘abort! abort!’
26. A tightrope walker tripping on a sidewalk is completely unacceptable.
27. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
28. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
29. If you’re going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!
30. The Lord gave us the power to procreate. So, let’s practice!
31. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
32. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
33. Don’t do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.
34. Blutarsky’s Axiom: Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.
35. A good scapegoat is hard to find.
36. It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.

37. Whatsapp Status Messages

38. A flying particle will always seek the nearest eye.
39. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
40. The business plan you prepare must be a lie, but it must be a detailed and precise lie rather than a vague and general lie.      Click here to see Angry Whatsapp Status in English Language
41. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife.
42. If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
43. All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!
44. There is no problem a good miracle can’t solve.

45. Facebook Status

46. The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease, sometimes it gets replaced.
47. The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.
48. The moment for calm and rational discussion is past, now is the time for senseless bickering.  Click here to see Best Funny Whatsapp Status 
49. Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.
50. If reproducibility might be a problem, conduct the test only once.
51. Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know’s what’s going on?
52. Never leave your patience
53. Green Green green … go green

Originally posted 2015-10-21 09:50:08.

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