Clean one liner jokes
Hello friends today we are here to share something great with you.Cool Whatsapp Status – Clean One Liner Jokes are a mixture of lovely whatsapp statuses with awesome words about love life comedy attitude breakup and wonderful words for many other situations like dilemma confusion funny sentiment.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
Persons disagreeing with your facts are always emotional and employ faulty reasoning.
If you step out of a short line for a second, it becomes a long line.
I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.
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Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.
Don’t blame me, nobody asked my opinion.
Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
In any household, junk accumulates to the the space available for its storage.
A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.
I washed my edible underwear and now they’re gone.
If at first you don’t succeed, your successor will.
History repeats itself. That is one of the things wrong with history.
Feminists are OK, I just wouldn’t want my sister to marry one.
A little ignorance can go a long way.
Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall… Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.
If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one great education!
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.
It you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.
If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.
As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.
Most people don’t realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn’t find the classroom.
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for “better treatment”? I’d ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you’d probably be able to get a lot of free games.
The obscure we see eventually, the completely apparent takes a little longer.
Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings cannot be wrong.
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Chism’s Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.
A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.
The sun goes down just when you need it the most.
People who think they know everything upset those of us who do.
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.
Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
If you are asked to join a parade, don’t march behind the elephants.
Prostitution is the only business where you can go into the hole and still come out ahead.
Progress may have been all right once, but it went on too long.
Cool Whatsapp Status – Clean One Liner Jokes
Self starters…will not.
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but a human head!
Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding altogether.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don’t mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
Is there life before coffee?
In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.
If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.
Four wheel drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
Brilliant’s Observation On Modern Art: Not all our artists are playing a joke on the public. Some are genuinely mad.
There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
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The only sense that is common in the long run is the sense of change. We instinctively avoid it.
It is not sufficient to be a success, it is also necessary for your friends to be failures.
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
History is the science of what never happens twice.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.
Producing a system from a specification is like walking on water, it’s easier if it’s frozen.
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips..yet she won’t drink from my glass!
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… The study of milkmen.
The other line always moves faster.
One thing that makes me believe in UFOs is, sometimes I lose stuff.
In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so.
I knew a girl that was so ugly that… I bent down to pet her cat only to find that it was the hair on her legs.
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I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You’d never know it to look at it.
I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what’s wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit.
Don’t stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he’s real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
The most important item in an order will no longer be available.
Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!